The Right Direction

I got my first (and only) tattoo a few years ago.  It was something I'd already been considering for a while.  After a few years of pondering, I still wanted it, so I decided to go for it.  I had been in Argentina for a couple months, and there were a few extra pesos jingling around in my pocket.  When in Argentina...  :)   (Disclaimer:  Adequate research was done, and I went to the best tattoo parlor in the city... so please don't think I trotted over to a grass shack and had ink injected into me by some random gaucho.)  At a bargain price of only 80 pesos (just over $20 USD), my tattoo (done by an Argentino named Sebastian) is still my proudest purchase from Argentina.  It reads "Mostrame el camino," which means "show me the way."  My tattoo is a little reminder each day of the sometimes-confusing journey through life. 

Some people have asked about the title of my blog, "Finding My Way."  I've dubbed my blog as such for a couple reasons-- a) simply put, I love to travel; and b) like my tattoo, it serves as a reminder to me that every day in this crazy life is part of that terrific journey into the unknown.  Ah, the unknown.  Yeah, it can be exciting.  But it can be very scary too.  How are we ever supposed to know if we're headed in the right direction?  Sometimes we just need a little guidance.

I guess it's safe to say that I'm still trying to find my way in life.  Does anyone have their path figured out just yet?  If you do, congratulations.  I'm not there.  I'm actually not quite sure I'll ever be there.  Seems like I always get a little lost... between the things I want to do, and the things I should do, I'm just never sure what the next step is.

What I want to do:

• travel, travel, and travel some more
• dip my left foot in every ocean
• move to Chicago
• move to New York
• move to Ireland
• move to South America
• find perfect love
• eat nothing but French toast for a month
• start a photography business
• write for a living
• open a cafe/bakery
• meet someone else with my exact name
• take up miming
• grow a huge garden that contains only lavender
• learn the perfect universal joke
• etc...

What I should do:

• sell my car and save my money
• eat nothing but nutritious salads for a month
• stay in my current apartment until the lease is up
• go back to school for a more specific degree, so that I can get a decent job
• travel only when necessary
• talk less and listen more
• snap photos while it's still fun
• write while I still enjoy it
• distribute baked goods for free, not in exchange for money
• etc...

Ah, the eternal struggle.  There's so much I still want to do, and I feel like I'm running out of time and resources while trying to focus on the things I feel I should be doing. 

Lately I've been reading books from my childhood-- just finished my E.B. White collection, which included one of my favorites, Stuart Little.  You don't have to read the book (but if you've got 45 minutes, go ahead... it's an easy read).  It's about a little mouse named Stuart, who befriends a bird named Margalot.  Margalot eventually leaves Stuart (she has her reasons), so Stuart embarks on a journey to be reunited with her.  He hasn't actually found his friend by the end of the book, but White leaves the reader feeling hopeful that Stuart and Margalot will once again find one another. The last paragraph is especially hopeful:

"Stuart rose from the ditch, climbed into his car, and started up the road that led toward the north.  The sun was just coming up over the hills on his right.  As he peered ahead into the great land that stretched before him, the way seemed long.  But the sky was bright, and he somehow felt he was headed in the right direction." -- Stuart Little, E.B. White

Yes, sometimes the way does seem long.  And sure, it's often scary to take a step into the unknown.  But look up-- the sky is always bright somewhere (though you might have to look beyond the clouds).  And if you're able to see the bright sky, even through the clouds, you're headed in the right direction.




(side note: The book Stuart Little also contains my favorite sentence from any literary work:  "One morning, when the wind was from the west, Stuart put on his sailor suit and his sailor hat, took his spyglass down from the shelf, and set out for a walk, full of the joy of life and the fear of dogs.")