The Silent Warrior

Be kind to everyone you meet, for they are fighting a silent battle you know nothing about.

I was recently working late-- and by late, I mean working 8am to 9pm.  I was sitting in my cubicle, the only one in my department who was subjecting herself to the post-workday blues.  Working till 9pm?  Not fun.  Working till 9pm in a basement?  Even worse. 

So there I was, mid-evening, pounding away furiously at my computer, working to finish whatever project I was tackling, when I heard the door to our office area open.  Who was coming in at such an abominable hour?  I looked up to see one of my coworkers fly down the hallway-- and in such a hurry that she didn't even notice me sitting there.  I shrugged and kept working.  Soon I could hear her heading back toward the door, and this time as she passed my cubicle she noticed that I was still working.  She popped in to say hello, just as surprised as I was to see another human in the office.  Frazzled, she explained to me that she had forgotten something important at her desk and didn't realize it until she was all the way home.  (That's happened to me before, so I know it's not fun to have to drive back to work... I could understand her frazzled state.) 

This was someone with whom I had worked, but never very closely.  We'd had a few conversations here and there, but never anything really important and our interactions had always been sort of obligatory, breezy, and "polite."  Tonight, however, she took a seat in the chair opposite me and proceeded to tell me everything that was going wrong in her life.  Naturally, this took me by surprise because we'd never had a deep conversation like this.  I was having a rather poor day myself, so I could understand her need to vent to someone.  An hour later, she concluded with something like, "Okay, there's my sad story.  I don't know why I just spilled all that, and I'm sorry.  I'm sure you never expected any of that."  Well, she was certainly right-- I truly had never guessed that she would waltz into my office for an impromptu therapy session.  I didn't really offer any advice, because I wasn't actually sure that's what she wanted.  I just listened, nodded, and agreed with her. 

The only verbal support I offered her was something that I heard during my first year of college, and it's stuck with me ever since:  "Be kind to everyone you meet, for they are fighting a silent battle you know nothing about."  It's so true... we're all struggling with something, aren't we?  Sure, some are very vocal with their battles, and some are totally silent.  And as much as we might be inclined to take a stand against that loud warrior, they deserve kindness just as much as the silent warrior.  Philosophers compare personal struggles to battles for a reason: they're horrible, and they can completely break you down. 

I had no idea that my coworker was struggling so badly.  Although I'd never been hurtful or rude to her, I'm not sure that I ever really went out of my way to show her genuine kindness, either (which I'm ashamed to say).  Hearing about her own battles made me feel very badly for her.  I started to think about the people I know who seem like they have their life in perfect order-- I feel like I'm less likely to show them genuine kindness, or even really care when I ask how they're doing.  They're okay because they never complain, right?  Maybe.  But it's far more likely that they're dealing with their own demons, just very quietly so that no one knows. 

Everyone you meet is indeed fighting some sort of battle, whether you know it or not.  A little kindness goes a long way.  Be sincere and genuine when you interact with someone, even if it's not your favorite person.  You never know what one little smile might do for someone who's having a rough time.  Treat everyone as if he were a silent warrior - with compassion, love, and genuine kindness.  It's amazing what a little bit of sunshine can do for someone on a very cloudy day.